From the late 20th Century onward at the
beginning of the 21st, the business economy in the place where I
grew up which was at main road of Gapan City just before crossing the bridge
going to San Leonardo, was already dying. Most of the establishments in the
formerly hailed strategic place where business was good and booming had long
been languid and others had to close down due to impending imminent lose. We
had a mini-grocery store which my father manages; but we had to close it down
since he had scirosis of the liver diagnosed in 1995.
When my father died in June 2000, my mother held
strong in not giving up the property but finally she agreed to sell it in 2004
to shake off the sadness that my father’s death left behind. Honestly, I was happy
to let it go because actually I grew up hating the place where we lived because
of the never-ending noise and smell of black and gray leaded smoke coming from
the passing vehicles aggravating my allergic rhinitis; not to mention the heat
like hell inside that house especially in summer time.
But isn’t it ironic, after many years we had sold the
property and happily chose to live elsewhere, who would have thought that one
day I will be forced to come back to it to gaze at the house which my father
built every single morning as I go to work and every noon and afternoon or night as I go home? Is destiny playing
a game on me?
Who would have thought that one day this place will
recover its former glory; and business will be as usual? I could imagine my
father looking down on me today in heaven with that lovely grin on his face,
bragging and teasing me, “Hey, do you
remember? That’s where I brought you up! Now you can always see the home that I
lovingly built for you.”
At the third floor of AIE building, every time I pass
through the hallway where I could have a clear and perfect view of the rotting
iron roofing through the opened wide window, I could almost also hear his
giggly, controlled, manly laughter while reminiscing some of the sweetest
memories we’ve shared together. I was already in my late 30’s when we were
still joining forces picking up aratiles
fruits up on the roof. He would pull up the long and heavy wooden ladder; then
he’d incline it adjacent to the roof top; then I will climb the ladder all the
way up like a boy. I would feast in hand-picking those beautiful shiny red,
sweet aratiles fruits and secretly
eat a handful while still up there.
Today, it’s all coming back to my memory all the
sweetness of those moments. As I come down from the roof after picking every
bit of aratiles where my arm could
reach, I could still feel the strength of his arms lovingly protecting me;
securing the ladder to make sure I won’t fall. How I miss him; and how I
earnestly wish and long to be held by those strong arms just for once in my life. My, my, here come the tears.J
All in
all, these come to me as a conclusion that things don’t just happen; but they
are there for a definite reason. I just couldn’t resist imagining way back then
where in my mind I see my father out in front of our house wearing his favorite
white kamiseta and canvas puruntong shorts; majestically standing
looking out across the street, staring blankly at the big, wide and weedy
vacant lot where AIE (Asian Institure of E-Commerce) College Gapan now stood. A
charming thought runs in my head as I’m really dying to know, could it be
possible that my father wished and whisper a little prayer to God to bless the
barren land in front of his house? Since he is also a very good artist, could
it be possible that in his mind he may have painted a glimpse of what he wished
it may turn out to be? Could it be possible that what he envisioned it to be
like is what it looks like today?
Father, I want to thank you by dedicating this loving piece that I wrote for you. I promise to never forget your legacy to me. I fully remember the time when you believed in me more than I believed in myself. I treasure your words in my heart as you said, “Daughter, remember this! Do not ever look down upon yourself as inferior to others because even though you were not able to finish college, compared to other graduates of four-year courses, I see you more as better person especially in manner of speaking as well as your action and behavior.” Tay, thank you for believing in me! I love you and I miss you so much.
It’s such a soothing thought that every time when I
look at that old house; I imagine that he did not die and left me alone. I feel
his presence every day as I go to work just “across
my father’s house.” As I look outside the window of admission office, in my
mind, I could clearly see him down there looking up at me with his beautiful
smile. I could still hear his funny quotes and crunchy laughter. I feel that
he’s here beside me. Yes, he has gone up to heaven to be with the Lord; but
with this lovely serendipity that connected me to AIE, in my heart, he came
back to life to tell me great and mighty things that he missed to tell me
before like the words that I ache to hear from his own lips, “I
love you, my daughter.” There goes my tear again!
I don’t know until when will God allow me to be with
AIE because no one knows what the future holds; but I will definitely cherish
in my heart forever the memories I carefully collected on the pages of my
journal as a beautiful part of my father’s undying legacy.
